Bethany Porter
Which Parish Area you live in? City North
If you could describe your pandemic experience in 3 words, which would you choose? Heartbreaking, isolating, hopeful
Your life has changed pretty dramatically since March. Can you tell us what’s happened?
Like everyone else, my world basically shut down on Friday, March 13th. I was very pregnant and completely terrified.
There was very little research on how Covid-19 affected pregnant women or babies at that time, so my last four weeks of pregnancy were basically spent locked away at home. I was able to start maternity leave a month early, which was definitely a blessing - but it was very isolating. I delivered on April 22nd, and we have spent the last 6 months learning how to be parents in these unprecedented times.
What has it looked like to care for a newborn during COVID? When I delivered, the lockdown order was still in place and hospitals were very strict. There were no visitors allowed, I had to wear a mask while I pushed, and only immediate family members came over to meet him several days after we got home. The first time my parents met their first grandchild, it was outside in the rain with masks on. I could write on and on about the difficulties of having a "Covid baby" - all newborn parents experience isolation, but navigating it with the thick layer of fear of exposing our fragile newborn to a potentially deadly virus that we knew nothing about (at the time) took it to a different level of difficulty. We didn't have anyone inside our house for a good two or three months, and there were a lot of tears that came with trying to decide our level of comfort with people meeting our son. My best friends have only seen him a handful of times and have never held him. I remember being in tears during a virtual appointment with my OB and her telling me about how important it was to be surrounded by family for support and help, but medically she couldn't recommend it. I would have to figure out what I could with whatever I was comfortable with.
I know I, and a lot of other new moms, spent a lot of time grieving the loss of everything that we didn't get to experience because of Covid. A lot of joy that comes with a new baby was robbed from us. The expectations I carried with me throughout the entire pregnancy were completely turned upside down at the very end and it was a hard thing to come to terms with. I've told friends that, in my mind, my son's life and the pandemic are intertwined. I can't picture one without the other.
Now you’re back at work in a hospital of all places! What has the transition been like— caring for a small child, and caring for patients? At first, terrifying. There was sadness at not having the maternity leave that I was expecting or hoping to have. I work with patients who have experienced physical/sexual abuse or neglect, so typically I don't see people who are actively sick. Breaking out of my "anxiety bubble" and going back into the world ended up being freeing in a way. Hiding at home and never going anywhere out of fear was taking a tremendous toll on my mental health, so having to go do something that was outside of my comfort zone forced me to work through that fear in a healthy way. I control what I can, and then focus on being present for my patients. Everyone in the hospital has to wear masks and there are hand sanitizer dispensers everywhere I go, so I feel like it's a safer work environment than people expect it to be. I wipe everything down with bleach wipes when I get to work and when I leave work, and my mask never comes off. When I get home, my work shoes stay outside on the porch and my scrubs go straight into the washer. My husband, Chris, works from home and watches the baby most days so I get to look forward to coming home and seeing them. Going back to work has really been a strange blessing through all of this.
What do you want to share with the Third community about what you’ve learned or witnessed during this experience? Chris and I were completely blown away by the support we received from our Parish group and church family those first few weeks. We had a modified meal train with lots of gift cards to restaurants and take-out services. Within a week, our mantle was completely full of cards we had gotten in the mail, all expressing their joy for our new addition and sharing prayers with us. It showed me Christ's love in a way that I had never experienced and it was truly humbling.
What do you think this time has afforded us that we wouldn’t be doing or seeing otherwise? It has forced us all to slow down and prioritize everything in our lives, from going out with friends, to making quick trips to the grocery store, to being able to visit someone in the hospital. We have all made tremendous sacrifices and I think it has been made clear to everyone that we took our pre-Covid lives and freedom for granted. I think when all of this is behind us, we will be more grateful, more resourceful, and (hopefully) more considerate.
What is your prayer for our church community right now? My prayer is that we as a community remain vigilant in supporting each other and looking out for those who are struggling. There's a lot of hopelessness in the world right now and we need to remind each other that our hope and strength is found in Him, and He will grant us peace that surpasses all understanding.
Thank you Bethany! We can't wait to meet Everett!